You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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