ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm both gender and math confused
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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