the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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