He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
