READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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