no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
