I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
