The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
