on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize