Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
