How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
