I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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