I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
