After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
