Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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