You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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