ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
