What a fucking waste of an outfit
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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