So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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