Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Randomize
