im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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