I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Everything about him screamed your future.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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