Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
