Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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