If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
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if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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