Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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