Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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