This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
