She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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