Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
