I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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