Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i think my cat just said my name.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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