Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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