why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
