I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
