so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
