jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
