Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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