I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
