I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize