Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
