hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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