planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize