bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
