smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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