We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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