I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
