Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
