After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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