Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
