I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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