This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
