Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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