remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
