uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
