party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
