I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
