So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
