I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
