Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
