how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
